"They, like their dad, won’t experience the world as I did physically with my brown skin, but my son is my son and they are my grandchildren. I am their brown mom and kôhkom and my love for them is beyond this realm, connecting them to their relatives in the process."
"I’ll tell her how this time in our history – the Corona year – altered all that. How the way that we expressed care and community shifted instantly and, in many ways, left us in isolation and in silence."
"I actually didn’t realize how creepy the situation seemed until we started telling people at the conference how we met haha. Also, it was reassuring that the first night we were singing to each other and some of the songs were Disney songs haha. I knew it was going to be fine after that."
It was a month of beautiful femme moments, moments that made me thankful for the women in my life.
In decolonizing the family, I understand now that there is no shame in raising my children together with the larger community.
A night of dancing on Granville with an insta-queen and now real-life friend. We bonded over 90's hiphop and perusing a late-night sex shop. Getting lost on Burnaby mountains and shopping makeup, sipping sangria and sharing stories of men, family, and dreams. Eating tacos and getting lit at 11 AM, thick accents on point as we laughed and teared up, mourning and celebrating in the moment, like Indigenous women do. And finally, pasta and poetry shared on an adventure of lost restaurants, a decade's worth of friendship, and planning the next sleepover.
I have learned that is important to hold yourself accountable and responsible for your own life. I have learned new ways of thinking and evaluating situations that are so much broader than the walls of my own mind. I have learned that it is okay to be compassionate, and humble and to feel everything so deeply – rather than trying to mask those feelings or act like they simply aren’t there.
I remind myself of the importance of community and connection that was once deeply rooted in our culture. To give someone our full attention is to love - because Love & Attention mean the same thing.
It was amazing to listen to my friends laugh and joke around in te reo Māori (the Māori language) and never apologizing if I didn’t know what they were saying. It made me want to learn my Dene language.
However, I know me. I like visiting. I like driving in and throwing my stuff around and making mad plans to fill every spare second, then moving on. I can only survive so long with a million other people. I need my land. I need my trees. I need my space.